My Healing Journey and Yours; Recovery from Narcissistic Relationship Abuse

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Understanding the Shadows; Recognizing Trauma and Its Layers;

I’ve been to dark dark places… AND I’ve come back. For me, it was having to have a little break away - to be able to have the space to begin to get an understanding of what happened to me. My questions were always ‘What is happening?” “Why are these things happening?” “Where is my self in this?” “How did this become my life?”

When I would think of what could be happening, because I couldn’t step away from myself and my life that was all around me, I would think “This COULDN’T be happening to me, if so, that’s not the person I thought she was and I couldn’t wrap my head around the why/wherefore of that level of betrayal.

This really really really messed with my thinking for a very long time. I am only beginning to be able to scratch the surface of allowing myself to feel and then heal. Just like any trauma, your divine and intelligent human is designed to protect you at all costs.

You’re not meant to endure the type of emotional and psychological pain that a deep betrayal like this can have on a person. Therefore those hurts go deep until you’re more prepared to be able to feel and then heal those hurts.

When this trauma surfaces in a disruptive unpleasant way, I have found a simple grounding technique.

Tell yourself what you are

  1. seeing,

  2. feeling,

  3. smelling,

  4. touching,

  5. hearing.

Stop and say:

  • “I am seeing the tree swaying in the wind out the kitchen window”,

  • “I am feeling the floor matt beneath my feet’,

  • “I am smelling the bread baking in the oven”,

  • “I am touching the warm dishcloth in my hand”,

  • “I am hearing the dog snoring in his dog bed”

    or whichever you might be seeing, feeling smelling touching hearing at the time.

Healing Heart Healing Eyes; Emotional support pet

Next time, we’ll talk about reclaiming your voice and finding your inner strength.

“ If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans.”
— James Harriott

Recovering from Narcissistic Relationship Abuse "Healing Together: My Journey and Yours"

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This series will weave personal reflections, insights from integrative medicine, and practical advice to support you in your healing journey.

A Gentle Beginning

“Only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savour belonging to yourself.”
— Ruth Stout
 

On an early peaceful Sunday morning after two days of light falling snow I am tucked in by my roaring wood stove for the cozy warmth of the flames.

It is the simple peacefulness of regaining my life; full control of my life; that gives me relief. I look around and am grateful I got out while I still could.

I am in the process of having an understanding of what has happened to me in this past relationship. I hope you’ll join me in this process.

I don’t know what I don’t know but what is being impressed upon me and inspires me to write is that I know it is a deep healing journey that is required for this type of recovery.

For You Today; Write down one moment of joy you’ve felt today—no matter how small. Begin collecting these moments. You might jot those down and put them into a journal or put those papers in a specific jar to reflect on when needed. Or maybe it would be easier to just put a random household, easy-to-grab item that can represent your JOY and place it in a spot that you recognize as your JOY ‘alter’ or any area of your home, room, closet or pocket etc… that is there for you to show you evidence of your JOY you have felt today.

Wood Stove Cozy Fire Slo Mo

Today my JOY is being able to revel in the warmth of a cozy wood stove fire.

Join me in my next post as we explore how to find peace in chaos.